Home | Tough Love | Three steps to taking a compliment after massive weight loss: A no-fail guide

Three steps to taking a compliment after massive weight loss: A no-fail guide

Far too many post-ops do NOT know how to accept a compliment. I’ve learned this in my 10 years since surgery.

It’s actually fairly important that you do learn to accept a compliment, mostly because it’s a part of being respectful of others, but also it’s an important part of building up your self-esteem. So let’s start with the three-step method that should be the only way you accept compliments. Ever.

  1. Smile. Whether you believe the compliment or not, someone said something nice to you. And you weren’t raised in a barn. Smile!
  2. Say thank you. Again, being polite does not require you to believe in it. You probably should because any compliment you get is probably true, but that’s a whole other blog opst!
  3. Keep it moving! Far too often we feel the need to negate a compliment with some lesser facts about ourselves. STOP THAT! It’s the equivalent of someone giving you a gift and you spitting on it. Take the compliment and keep it moving.

“But, Nik, what about back-handed compliments?”

See? Now you’re overthinking. Back-handed compliments (ones you think are actually someone throwing shade) should be treated the same way. Why? Because for some reason or another they found you significant enough to take the time to say something. If you know 100%, for-real-for-real that they are being shady…the best revenge is to take that compliment and not give them anything back. No venom. No bitchiness. No return-shade. Just take it. And be happy. Happiness drives shady people BONKERS.

A case example

So let’s put this new learning into practice with a case example.

Jane had VSG six months ago. Jane runs into a former co-worker she was friendly with, and who is aware she had weight loss surgery.

WRONG WAY:

Former co-worker: Wow, Jane! Look at you! You look awesome!

Jane: Yeah, but I still have 10 more pounds to get to my goal…

RIGHT WAY:

Former co-worker: Wow, Jane! Look at you! You look awesome!

Jane: (Smiles) Wow, thanks. What a nice thing to say.

See? It’s not hard. In fact, it’s quite simple. May take some practice. Your inner “stinkin’ thinkin'” brain may be screaming horrid things as you do this, but guess what.

Fake it ’til you make it. You believed the bad things about yourself because those bad things were repeated. So it stands to reason that in order to believe good things about yourself you have to repeat those many times. Got it?

Good. Now go forth and accept compliments like you have some good sense!

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